My nephew died recently at the age of twenty-nine. It was sudden and unexpected - a deep tragedy for the family. Being on the periphery for the first few days after the news reached me, I was more able than most to devote myself to prayer, contemplation, readings and quietness. Placing my nephew in the centre of my thoughts I could think, speak or read with him clearly in mind. I could speak to him. But talking to others and looking a little further I realized that prayer is a very open concept. By nature it is open. If you have the loved one at the heart of it you can also extend your activity into any area that is special to you. Thus, song, poetry, music, dance, painting, even cooking (my nephew was a chef), can also be prayer. Just keep the image of the one you're thinking of closely before you. In this way you open a door. You make your world consistent with the world of the person who has passed on. Why do this? Well, one reason is that the person who has departed is now occupying a completely new space, a new environment. It stands to reason that they have to find their bearings - whatever their relationship was to the spiritual during life. In that case - I believe - the shared environment of thoughts can help as an orientation. But not only is their world new and different - ours is too. It is different because they are no longer in it and we also have to find our bearings. Therefore the process works for both sides.
I said that communication of this sort opens a door. Where is that door? This is the question which has preoccupied humankind since the beginning of time. The answer is simple. The door is in the heart. Not in the head, which is too full of the rubbish our civilization puts there. The door is in the heart. You can approach it very quietly. You can move towards it and, as you go, not just the air but matter itself grows thinner. It grows thinner and thinner until, with a little gasp, you realize it has disappeared altogether. And then you find the door in front of you, slightly open. It's in that moment that all the song, dance, poems, music, speech, paintings and - cooking - go weaving through the door ahead of you. Something comes back from the other side. What is that? Better thoughts for a start. None of your rubbish! Inspirations, ideas, feelings, pictures, warmth, love - decisions. Sometimes when you are about to make the wrong decision you will feel a nudge at your elbow. This is my conviction. You may not believe. You may be a sceptic. In that case I suggest simply that you don't close the door. Don't let the thoughts in your head close that door for you. Openness is life, closedness is death.
My nephew was a person who opened doors. He opened doors to people - that much is clear. He also opened doors to places - he was a traveller, an explorer. He understood 'the great outdoors'. It seems to me he is in the greatest outdoors of all now. And I believe he is completely equal to the challenge.
Jay
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