To have no answers. Ah! to have no answers. That is the condition of our spiritual journey - the condition we are bound to live in. Life is turbulent. As the unwearying ocean will never remain at peace for long, so life will fling its waves and troughs before us with little respite. This is all part of our spiritual awakening, of spirituality itself. But, strangely, every trough and each wave has its name. Why is this? Why is it we seem to know each trouble, each event, as if it was intended or as if we had somehow experienced it before? The upheavals of life are not like waves and troughs of the ocean, because they are somehow specific - they are named and numbered, they are recognizable quantities. They belong within the realm of spiritual growth. And yet there is no answer.
This is particularly true with events of life and death: accidents, illnesses, misfortunes - deep-seated problems as they affect people in your life. You can do everything in your power to help but still find no solution. For death itself there is no solution. And then you are out on the ocean. Every human being is out on the ocean, despite the deepest will to help. At those times it feels as if you have to sink deeper and deeper into yourself, to travel ever-farther west, in order to contain what is happening. And then you realize there is a course, there is an order, there is a light. If you are lucky you will see the light, for example, from the person who has died - if that is what has happened. That light is unwavering and steady. More likely you will experience it in the fact that the waves and troughs are identifiable - nothing is random, nothing is unknown, even if it has no solution. If you connect yourself with the course across the ocean, with the order, with the light, you start to find that the very lack of answers is an answer itself. Ultimately this is because the love in you is answered by the Love in the cosmos - irrespective of the nature of the problem. Therefore when you are out in the ocean longing for peace you may find that your own deeper being holds the key to the peace you are craving.
I do believe that each trough and crest is answered by another. It may take a long time - more than a lifetime in some cases - but there is no such thing as 'no answer'. The spiritual journey is a long one. In the meantime, in sinking deeper into yourself or sailing farther west, you may find the light to guide you.
Jay
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